prague.

so a lot has happened in the past month in which i've shamefully neglected to post...well, partly from neglect and partly from a never-ending lack of steady internet. trips to tallinn (estonia), helsinki, amsterdam, brugge (belgium), and prague along with moving to london - kind of the whole reason i'm here in the first place. but in the fashion of my life right now, i'm going to go a little out of order and write on prague as my re-entry into blogging.

the trip to prague was perhaps the most spontaneous i've ever taken. emily, kim and i arrived in london on friday,  the 15th of august, and a week later we all had jobs (a celebratory moment i will discuss later). the next friday, the 22nd, we all arrived back at our flat after a day full of getting things done in the city. emily and i were due to leave the next day for a BUNAC-sponsored weekend trip to amsterdam and brugge. all of our jobs, however, weren't starting until at least the first of september. earlier in the week, i had suggested going to paris before we started work. apparently last-minute eurostar tickets are not a good idea (i'm talking in the hundreds...of pounds.) on a whim i said, "emily, have you ever been to prague?" three hours later, we were in mcdonald's using free wi-fi and booking tickets and a hostel. 

we went to amsterdam (post coming soon, i promise...), came back late monday night, i went to work for one day that tuesday, and wednesday morning we boarded a plane for prague. the utter spontaneity of the whole affair would become a theme on the trip. we got to our hostel around 7pm wednesday night and from that moment, until the moment we boarded a plane for london saturday afternoon, i was in love with the city. why? let me break it down for you...

beauty.

after dropping our bags off at the hostel wednesday night, we started off for old town - always the first place i like to go in a new city - but an hour later, we realized we were horribly lost. we were the kind of lost that in complete loss of hope, you begin to make the streets you're actually on look like the streets you think you're on from your map. "well, if you look at the road that way, it could curve to the left..." yes, if you were in prague that wednesday evening, you might have seen us standing in the middle of the sidewalk, turning our map to all sides and angles, desperate for direction. i have to say, it stung my pride. a lot. i take great pride in my navigational skills and my ability to read a map. thankfully, a kind english-speaking couple were able to re-direct us and walked with us to a metro station. after we were finally set back on course, we saw just how lost we were - we had wandered so far we weren't even on our map of the city. starving and a little weary from almost two hours of walking, we stumbled along the cobblestone streets in search of old town square. with every match between our map and the streets we turned onto, our hearts leapt a little higher. and then...

talk about a welcome sight. this breath-taking building was the first thing we saw as we turned into the square. emily and i couldn't even walk, we just stood, almost reverently, in complete and utter awe of a) finally reaching our destination and b) the unbelievable beauty of the place. within ten minutes, i was in love with prague - the churches, the architecture, the alleyways - everything was beyond all expectation. we dined outside at an italian pizzeria, followed by gelato from a street vendor. it was perfect.

friendship.

thursday night, after an exhausting day of walking tours and rambles about the city, we picked up dinner at tesco - our new favorite european grocery store! - and brought it back to our hostel to eat in their kitchen. we ate with our roommate, damien, an argentinian traveling europe alone. he spoke hardly any english and we spoke barely enough spanish to pass a spanish 1 high school exam. needless to say, it was a pretty awkward dinner filled with your standard questions and uncomplicated answers - no real "conversation," if you will. after dinner, emily went to take a shower and i got online to try and reply to weeks-old facebook messages and wall posts. a little while later, the hostel receptionist brought four more people to our room - two guys and two girls. i looked up from my laptop with dismay - besides damien, who kept to himself, emily and i had the eight-bed dorm room to ourselves. not for long! our new roommates came in - again, speaking only spanish. they were from spain, as we later learned. i didn't say much, except for answering one of the guys when he asked if a bed was "libre." ("si, si, es libre..." was my feeble response five minutes after i finally understood what he was asking.) damien talked with them for a while and i sat quietly on my laptop. emily came in later, obviously taken back with a towel wrapped around her head! she started to speak with them in the little spanish she knew and i tried to do the same.  they were very friendly, though, and very patient with our piece-meal spanish. then they asked us if we wanted to go out with them for a "quick drink." i should've known there is no such thing as a "quick" drink when it comes to the spanish!  

we walked down the street to a little bar and sat around a battered wooden table together - emily and myself, the four spanish travelers, damien, and a czech man who happened to be fluent in spanish. now i have a hard enough time talking in english in those kinds of situations - what with the blaring music and all - let alone a language i haven't really spoken for almost three years. thankfully i have a good basic knowledge of spanish that i think will always stick with me, even if it is on the spanish 1 level, but it came in handy. 

the night was amazing. totally unexpected. who knew emily and i would connect so well with four people from spain? to me, it's a huge testament to the power of human connection, despite language barriers. we talked about traveling, about music, about football - european, of course - and about our bad spanish and their poor english. it was definitely tricky at times - i'm afraid i gave them many a blank stare - which they even joked me for! but it only augmented the times when i did understand them and especially when i got one of their jokes! we then left and went to a second bar, very similar, sitting around another wooden table and just talking. i especially connected with one of the guys, victor, who called me "la jefa" ("the chief") when we left the bar and i pulled out my map to find our way home. we played fusball in the bar - i lost, sadly - and victor taught emily how to flamenco dance! i've never enjoyed myself more. as i write this, it's hard to describe what was so magical about the night. maybe i'm just so amazed that people who barely spoke the same language could have so much fun together. emily and i couldn't stop smiling about it the next day, thinking - "did we really do that??" yet again, it was so spontaneous and unplanned on our part, but so incredible. 

heritage.

when emily and i decided we were going to prague, i mentioned to her that i have always wanted to travel to uhersky brod - where my czech ancestors immigrated from in the early 1900s (weirdly enough, i am 25% czech.) she immediately took to the idea - i couldn't believe it. when we reached the prague airport, a lady at the info centre explained the right bus and train routes that we might take to reach the town - situated four hours from the capital! despite the distance, emily was very much in favor of the plan, so friday morning, we woke early and walked to the main train station in prague. even though there were a few issues with getting the ticket (which even led to emily asking one station attendant, "habla espanol?" after our attempts to speak with them in english had failed...), we caught the train just in time and were soon headed towards uhersky brod. once we had delved deep enough into the czech countryside, we could see many of the train stations were nothing to speak of - located far from town, small gray buildings covered in graffiti - certainly nothing to travel four hours for. i won't lie and say i wasn't worried - i had no idea what to expect.

what would uhersky brod be like? how would we get to the town - surely they couldn't have taxis? my anticipation - as well as my nerves - were great. as it turned out, i had absolutely nothing to worry about. the station itself in uhersky brod was charming - two stories, painted brown with white decorative elements and patterns. before we left the station, we bought our return ticket - this time, i communicated with the attendant by writing "uhersky brod --> praha, 18:00?" on a piece of paper. whatever works, right? she got the picture and with our tickets in hand, we had about five hours to explore the town. the entire day, i kept repeating "thank you, God!"

thank you that the town was only 100 metres away from the train station, up a short flight of stairs...

thank you for the information centre, where i found lots of brochures about the town and region - in english! - and bought adorable souvenirs for myself and my grandmother whose parents immigrated from  czechoslovakia...

thank you for the beautiful catholic churches my ancestors probably attended and the j.a.comenius museum  and the random japanese garden and the gorgeous vistas and hidden spaces and paths...

the entire day was such an unexpected blessing - a worthy end to a daring adventure. i was just so grateful there was something "there" - as emily said, it could have easily been one of the many run-down towns we passed, where we would have spent the day sitting on a bench saying, "okay, my turn to watch our stuff while you go to the bathroom." but it wasn't, by any means! it was beautiful - full of history, both nationally and to me personally - quiet, small, understated, yet so epic. i couldn't believe i was there. ever since sixth grade, when i poured over the family genealogy my great-great uncle george wrote, i knew i had to visit uhersky brod. and now...i have. it was such a momentous, meaningful visit and emily's excitement as she took in the town with me meant all the more. we wandered through back streets, bought dinner from a grocery store and ate in the town hall square, walked along the old wall of the city and basked in the richness of history and heritage...

...a beautiful end to a beautiful adventure...

here's what you have to look forward to:

posts on tallinn

helsinki

amsterdam & brugge

and...

LIFE IN LONDON.

stockholm.

the first stop on our ten-day tour of scandinavia was a two nights' stay in stockholm, sweden. landing in sweden was a big moment for me as i've never been to europe before. over the summer, i found that each time i had the opportunity to tell someone what i was doing with my life increased my excitement yet another notch. even more than describing my pending move to london, i looked forward to telling them about this trip to scandinavia - two nights in stockholm, three nights in tallinn, estonia, and a final four nights in helsinki, finland. not only was i traveling to europe for the first time, i was about to see a corner of the world not often visited by the average american in europe. i experienced this feeling yet again as kim, emily, and i explained our reason for visiting to the customs officer in the stockholm-arlanda airport. my heart leaped at the sound of the stamp in my passport!

touching down on the runway, the first thing i saw out the window was trees - row after row of gorgeous pines.  exactly what i'd always pictured in my mind of the country. as we walked down the terminal to the baggage claim, the three of us immediately noticed the incredible quiet that pervaded the building. not just i

n the voices of the people around us, who spoke in low, hushed tones, but also in the decor of the terminal. no neon. no flashy signs. nothing screaming at us. it was all so subdued. the intense quiet continued on the streets of stockholm and into the city. everything seemed so ordered, so in place. we had to catch ourselves so many times from being too loud.  sitting around in the dining area of our hostel one night, we had to laugh at another group of americans who clearly hadn't caught on. all of the other travelers sat to themselves, quietly continuing on conversations, but a group of three american guys boisterously discussed whether or not to label their food in the hostel refrigerator. thankfully, we picked up on the subdued tone of the europeans around us, but we're still intrigued as to the source of their silence.

back to the stockholm airport, it's hard to express the huge sigh of relief we all let out as each one of our bags came down the luggage ramp. we did it! i am amazed at how much i have to be grateful for here. each time we get on the right bus, go down the right street, connect to the right flight, or arrive at our hostel is such a small yet wonderful accomplishment. when we reached our stockholm hostel, it wasn't yet check-in time, so we left our bags in the luggage room, freshened up a bit, and set out for gamla stan, the old town of stockholm. 

(somehow in the rush of packing, i forgot to pick up my usb cord connecting my camera to my laptop. thankfully, it's being shipped to london, but until then, i'm afraid i'll be using google images to supplement my writing...)

gamla stan was gorgeous. i cannot repeat that enough. it was everything i had always envisioned about europe - cobblestone streets, outdoor cafes, town squares, brownstones, window boxes overflowing with geraniums. our first afternoon, we wandered through gamla stan for hours, even passing the same italian cafe close to ten times as we learned to navigate that part of town! when we were close to passing out from hunger, we stopped at a little cafe where emily and i feasted on crepes with jam and whipped cream - pannkakor m sylt o gradde. delightful! 

as we walked around in a place steeped in beauty and history, we all kept saying, "i can't believe we're here, this is so surreal!" and as surreal as walking the cobblestone streets of an almost 900-year old european town is, it also felt so oddly natural. it was the strangest juxtaposition of emotions. it has always been the biggest dream of mine to see europe and it was a dream that i knew would eventually be realized. it had always been a matter of timing or finances, and i kept waiting for my first opportunity to visit europe. after months of planning and working and saving, i had finally arrived. all i could say was, it's about time! i felt so at home in stockholm. maybe it was my blond hair and blue eyes that helped me not stand out as a tourist, but it felt so comfortable. i was talking to a good friend of mine the other night on skype, and we discussed the fact that there is a basic set of city navigational skills - reading a map, learning to take the subway, etc. - that once you have learned and somewhat mastered, it's not hard to get around in a city, minding the language barrier, of course!  when you feel comfortable navigating a city, you don't feel that out of place - even in a city where you don't speak the language. 

speaking of knowing the language, kim, emily, and i taught ourselves a few swedish phrases so we wouldn't feel so american in stockholm. hello is "hey"-  easily enough - and they often repeat it, greeting you with a cheerful, "hey hey." not far from that is "hey do," which means good-bye, and thank you is "tack." even learning those few phrases helped me feel more at home in sweden. i found myself really wishing i knew the language, feeling ignorant and so american that i could only speak english. when i was in high school, i loved foreign languages and even thought about going on to work as a translator. when i got to college, though, the difficulty of upper-level language classes was intimidating and i didn't continue on with any language. being in stockholm revived my love for languages. it's frustrating to me that so many americans only know english. i was astounded by the number of swedes who spoke english, and even our tour guide today in tallinn was able to converse in several different languages.  but there were moments when i stood in line at a grocery store or at the stockholm airport and said, "hey hey," and the employee would begin speaking to me in swedish.  i was so excited they thought i was swedish. of course, i quickly followed my "hey" with "i'm sorry, can you repeat that?" but at least i had a temporary connection with them!

i'll leave you with one more shot from Gamla Stan...

hey do!

prologue.

on the walls of the day

in the shade of the sun

we wrote down

another vision of us

we are the challengers of

the unknown...

^ the new pornographers, "challengers"

challengers of the unknown. 

i first discovered this song last summer and fell in love with the idea of challenging the unknown. it's how i've been wired, it's how i've lived my life since a young girl, and it can't more perfectly express the path my life is taking right now. 

so here i am - in tallinn, estonia - writing the inaugural post of my blog. ever-so-hesitant to start one over the past few years as blogging has gained popularity, i figured there was no time like the present. no greater time to share a record of my life with my friends and family than on the brink of a great adventure. i am currently touring scandinavia with two of my good college friends, kim and emily, before we fly to london on the 15th and begin a six-month stay in the city. with passports and work visas in hand, we are ready to taste the british life and experience a new culture in a way only possible by taking up residence there.

my initial idea for this blog was to focus on our travels - first, scandinavia, then on other forays into europe we might take while in london. however, as i started thinking of titles for this record, i realized there is so much more going on in this experience than just being able to see europe for the first time. my decision to move to london after my college graduation was only one decision in a string of choices i have made in the past couple of years that have changed the course of my life - for instance, choosing one major over another, simply for the love of the degree, not for the financial security and potential job opportunities it might present after graduation. in the spring of my fourth year, i was overwhelmed by my lack of direction in terms of a career. after months of applying and interviewing for jobs and hearing back nothing in return, i ran into kim and emily one night. the first thing kim said to me on that april evening was, "candace, come to london with us!" as crazy as it sounded, i knew i had to do it. one consistent desire of mine throughout my fourth year was to do something big after graduation. to have an adventure, to do something i could never do again. this was it. i read ian mcewan's on chesil beach at the beginning of the summer and was struck by one of the closing lines in the book:

this is how the entire course of a life can be changed - by doing nothing.

i didn't want that to be me. i didn't want to wake up twenty years from now and regret not taking advantage of any opportunity i received. but on the other hand, something i've struggled with so many times throughout my life is trust. as an overly self-reliant person, it's hard to let go sometimes and trust God can - and will - take care of things without me micro-managing my own life. the choice to go to london was no different. could i trust God to take care of the thousand details required to plan such a move? earlier this summer, i wrote a song all about the vital importance of taking chances in life. part of the bridge contains these lines:

when life denies a crystal ball

you have to learn to take the fall

with just a blindfold and a prayer

you might have noticed the title of this blog in the last line. while racking my brain for a fitting name, i kept coming back to this line: with just a blindfold and a prayer. as much as i wanted to focus on traveling and my intense wanderlust in this blog, there is more at stake here - it is about watching my faith and trust and courage expand exponentially through this experience. 

i'll end this post with a quote that sums up exactly why i am doing what i am:

there comes a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.